


Unsaid

by milka121



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Feelings, Growing Up, Guilt, M/M, Riku surfing, dumb teenagers, post kh2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 13:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15972980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milka121/pseuds/milka121
Summary: They are back at the islands, but something is still not right.Or, Riku being an overdramatic gay, Sora being concerned and Kairi being the only one with the common sense.





	Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> It mentions the theory I like that [Roxas broke Riku's wrist during 365/2 days](https://www.reddit.com/r/GamingDetails/comments/6x7sn3/kingdom_hearts_roxas_broke_rikus_left_wrist/)  
> Written for a prompt: "things you said with too many miles between us"

Without a constant threat of turning into a heartless, the life was surprisingly dull.

Not like that's a bad thing—after going through what they have experienced, some peace and quiet was exactly what they needed. Riku just hoped it wouldn't be as… well, boring.

“It’s not boring,” Kairi said, showing a sandwich in Riku’s direction. “It’s calm. And relaxing.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Riku rolled his eyes and reached out to grab the sandwich, but it was snached just out of his reach.

“‘Sup.” Riku always wondered how Sora could look so innocent even when he was doing something like showing a whole stolen sandwich into his mouth. But it was just another of Sora’s characteristics, Riku supposed. Hero of light couldn’t be anything less.

Riku, however…

He stood up and dusted off his trousers, not completely unconsciously sending a wave of sand off his clothes into Sora. “I’m going for a swim.”

“Eh? But what about our picnic?” Kairi pouted—or at least pretended to. Riku has never seen Kairi pout for real. “And after I made all that food…”

“Not hungry,” Riku said, rolling his arms. “Maybe later.”

He turned away from them before they could say anything, and unceremoniously jumped into the water.

Riku was used to the taste of salt water in his mouth; he was sure nowhere else the sea had the same exact taste, with all its shades and tones. It tasted like home.

It was disgusting.

He opened his eyes underwater. The image was blurry, but even through water he could see the far away sky, and on this background the outline of the island with paopu tree and the silhouettes of Sora and Kairi, sitting on a blanket and eating whatever delicious things Kairi prepared for them. 

In truth, Sora and Riku were supposed to bring something, too, but Sora plainly forgot—as always—and Riku… Well.

His lungs were burning, his throat squeezed, and he could feel himself slowly sinking.

The lights above him were blinding.

When the burn in his chest turned into real pain, he kicked the water and his head broke the surface of the sea; his lungs took in a gulp of air. 

The pain lessened and Riku swam towards the beach. He got out of the water, suddenly becoming aware of his own weight—his limbs were heavy and every move was too hard, too energy—consuming.

Riku ignored the feeling and grabbed what he went out of the water for; a long board Tidus made some time ago, and then discarded when he realised surfing was harder than it looked like. And it  _ was _ hard, even for Riku, who spent so much time training and training and training, because getting out of shape would undoubtedly mean failure, and Riku couldn’t afford failure in anything.

And yet, out of the all things, surfing was too difficult for him. Which didn’t mean he was going to just give up.

He went back into the water with the board. 

He repeated the same routine he did so many times before; he located a nice wave, got onto the board, and stood up, perfectly balancing himself on the water, and when it hit—

He was thrown right back into the water. God damn it.

When he dove back into the sea, chasing the board, he saw Sora and Kairi on the island waving to him and shouting something, probably some usual encouragement, like “You can do this!” or “Once again!”, but the water tuned them out.

Maybe it was the water, Riku thought. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to stay upright on the board; the water was much too unpredictable and changeable, unlike anything Riku had to work with. Unlike steady ground he still probably relied upon when he tried to move on the waves.

Well, if it would be as easy to change it as it was to realise it.

Riku caught the board and hanged onto it. He brushed away the wet strands of hair out of his face—it was becoming way too long now. It weighed his head down, he could feel it. And besides, in the middle of battle, someone could easily grab it and—

Not like he should be thinking about it. He wasn’t going to fight anyone here.

Not seriously, anyway. The only person that could beat him in a swordfight was sitting on a blanket, eating away the sandwiches Kairi has prepared and laughing airly, like he had nothing to worry about.

Maybe he really didn’t. Maybe Riku was just overly sensitive.

Maybe. 

The water was warm, but Riku still felt cold.

* * *

Riku sneezed.

“See, that’s what you get for just jumping into the water like that,” Kairi said. “Here.” She reached out her hand to him, holding a fluffy towel. She really was the most responsible one out of their trio, wasn’t she?

“Thanks,” Riku murmured. He wiped his face easily, but the hair seemed to somehow absorb way too much water than it was humanly possible, refusing to give any of it to the towel.

“Wait, lemme.”

Before Riku could protest, small hands took the towel from him and rubbed it against the back of Riku’s head. It was so sudden, Riku froze. Or at least that was the best than the alternative.

Riku shivered. “Th-thanks.”

“No problem,” Sora said, his hands still in Riku’s hair. “We don’t want you sick, right? And…” The hand in Riku’s hair stopped, just for a second, but it was enough for Riku to notice it.

“And?”

“N-never mi—”

“Oh, come on!” Kairi laughed. “Riku, you look like a drenched chicken.”

Sora broke into a laugh so hard Riku could feel his whole body trembling.

Riku stared at Kairi. “Really?”

She was giggling too much to say anything back, so she just nodded quickly. 

“Poor chick Riku, mama hen Sora is here to dry you up.”

“Mama hen?” Riku turned around, looking Sora in the eye. “I would say you are more like a cock.”

Kairi hooted and fell on the ground, rolling around like a madman.

Riku keep looking at Sora with a smirk, ready for Sora to flush all red like a kid he was—but instead, Sora threw his head back and laughed. “Good one, Riku.”

Riku blinked, surprised—but Sora’s smile has always been contagious, and before he knew it, a smile was on his lips once again. “Heh.”

“Oh my god, I’m dying.” Kairi’s voice was raspy and there were tears running down her face. “I never knew you could be so bold, Riku.” She shoved him playfully.

“Hey, I am the oldest one here, am I not? I’m allowed.”

“It’s not like there’s that big of difference here.” Sora still had a smile plastered all of his face. “We are not exactly kids anymore, either.”

“Says you.”

“He’s right, you know.” Kairi’s smile mirrored Sora’s. “I think after all that’s happened, we have… grew up, a little.”

“A little.” Riku smirked. 

Because, yes, they may have experienced hardships— hardships that were, in the most part, Riku’s fault—but they haven’t seen what he had seen, haven’t felt what he had felt.

Sora and Kairi might have grew up, but they were still kids, in a way. Still innocent and bright—eyed, still believing that everything will be alright.

Riku… Well. Riku knew better than that.

“Riku, are you… are you okay?”

And suddenly, the world came back to focus; Sora’s worried gaze, the towel in his hands, the shimmer of the water.

Riku swallowed. “Yeah,” he said. “Of course.”

“You know you don’t need to hide anything from us. We are all in this together. If anyone could understand you, it’s us.”

No. No, that’s not true, and they would  _ never _ understand, because both of them were so full of light, they could never understand what being in the darkness, letting themselves be devoured, felt like. 

They would not understand how much he hated it. 

And that was for the best, because if they did knew… Their purity, their light would surely be lost forever. Just like Riku’s was.

“You are making a weird face again.” Sora poked Riku’s cheek. 

“I’m just thinking.”

“Uh-oh. That’s kind of alarming. You don’t do it often, after all.”

“Shut up.” Riku shoved Sora away with enough force to make Sora fall flat on his back.

Kairi didn’t stop laughing.

* * *

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

Riku looked at Kairi with a raised eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb, now.” She pouted and put her hands on her hips, probably trying to appear more intimidating, but she was Kairi, and Riku was too used to people trying to intimidate him anyway.

“I seriously don’t know.”

“I am not dumb, you know. And neither is Sora, for the record.”

“I’d argue about that.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. “Don’t you try to joke the subject away! Anyway, as I was saying, we are not dumb, and surprisingly, we have eyes, too. So we can see what’s going on.”

“Okay, then what is going on?”

“That’s something I need to ask you!” She raised her head, her gaze meeting his. “You’ve been acting weird ever since we came back home. And I mean, weirder than usual. You run away everytime we hang out, you spend all of your free time in the water—”

“Well, where else I’m supposed to go? We live on an island, Kairi.”

“You don’t like water! You never did! And suddenly you do nothing but swim around and use it as an excuse nearly every time we suggest doing something together? I call bullcrap.”

Thinking about it now, he probably should at least try to be a bit more subtle. But Riku was not one for subtlety, and Kairi was well aware of that. Sora too, probably. 

Which meant… If Kairi was seeing this, then Sora must be seeing as well, as unperceptive as he was. 

Well, shit.

“I just need more time to get used back to all… this,” Riku tried one last time.

The look Kairi sent him was enough for him to give up immediately.

“It’s true, though. I don’t think—”

“Riku.” She tilted her head. “Don’t think, just do what you want to do. Really want, not what you think you want because of some martyr complex.”

“I don’t have— Besides, I—”

He tried to utter more words, something more coherent at least, but his throat refused to cooperate; all of his body suddenly decided that he was no longer competent to steer it, and Riku was left there, mouth half—open and legs stuck to the ground.

Kairi smiled, in the most sincere way only she or Sora could smile. “Just take care of yourself, okay? We all want you to be happy. You deserve it, really.”

Riku wanted to protest, remind her of the fact that it was all his fault, only his, but something in her voice—some warmth, some reassurance, it all flowed right into Riku’s heart, bathing him in gentle light he didn’t know he needed. And for a second—for a second, he thought he caught a glimpse of blonde hair and white dress, but it was over in a blink of an eye.

“Okay?”

Riku raised his head, meeting her gentle eyes—and Kairi’s smile widened. “Glad to see you agree. If you want to talk, I’ll be at the treehouse with Selphie.”

She turned around with a spring in her step, and Riku was left on the seaside with his mouth still hanging open, trying to figure out what has just happened.

But standing there for the rest of eternity, dumbstruck, was seemingly not what fate had in store for him.

He felt it, rather than saw; his Keyblade appeared in his hand as he spun around and slashed; if the Heartless or Nobodies attacked, right now, the islands would be—

“Hey, wow!” Sora stared at the tip of the Riku’s Keyblade, which was positioned worryingly close to Sora’s throat. “It’s just me. See?”

Oh. Of course. Of course. 

Riku lowered his Keyblade. “S-sorry. I—” The words betrayed him again, so he just shook his head.

And against all odds, Sora nodded with understanding. He made a step forward. “Riku…”

Riku swallowed.

“Want to spar?” 

“What?”

Sora smirked, his Keyblade appearing in his hand. “You chickening out?”

Riku snorted. “You wish.” He raised his Keyblade over his head, his other hand turned upward in front of him—and the pain surged through his hand, so sharp that the Keyblade slipped out of his other hand.

“Riku!”

“I’m FINE!” he growled. Shit, he forgot again.

“Is something—something wrong with your hand?”

Riku grabbed his Keyblade and raised it again. “I said I’m fine!”

“No, you are not!”

The push almost knocked Riku over; he managed to block it just barely, only so that he was able to quickly jump back, out of harm’s way.

Sora’s brows were furrowed. “I knew it. You are not using your left hand as much. You broke your wrist, right?”

Riku rolled his eyes. “Focus on the fight, Sora.”

“Who did this?” The question pierced through the air, much harsher and completely not Sora—like. It was sharp, demanding, almost… almost bloodthirsty, as much as Sora could ever be like that.

“Roxas.” Riku attacked again, anything not to notice the expression on Sora’s face. Sora countered quickly, instinctively, and Riku had to make a step back once more. 

“I’m—”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” Riku hissed. Because no matter what DiZ kept saying, Roxas was not Sora, and Sora would never hurt anyone like that; he shouldn’t be baring the burden of what his other self did, because Sora was bright, still untainted even though he have been touching the darkness for so long, and he  _ has to _ stay that way. He just has to.

The worried look Sora sent him only reinforced his point. 

Riku took a deep breath. “Look, can’t we just go back to—”

The hit came out of nowhere; before he knew this, he was coughing out sand and looking straight at the sky.

He felt a cold pressure of metal on his throat, and, yes, it was undoubtedly Sora’s keyblade. Riku opened his mouth, ready to say something—anything to make Sora go away—and then something wet fell on his face. 

“I don’t understand.” Sora’s voice shook. “I don’t understand you at all.”

And it was like it was then and there, when Sora has seen him in The World that Never was; Sora’s knees gave up and he was on the ground with Riku, tears flying down his face. 

Riku opened his mouth, but no sound came out. What could he say? What was there to say at all? 

“Riku.” A sob. “Riku.” And Sora’s hands, suddenly twisting in the material of Riku’s shirt, grabbing so hard his knuckles turned white. His lower lip trembled, as if he was trying to say something, but the only thing that left his throat was a raspy, almost inaudible.

“Please don’t go.”

The walls around Riku cracked. 

“I’m here,” he breathed out. His hands moved on their own, somehow finding their way to Sora, to soft skin and wet face. Sora was here, in one piece, alive and awake. And maybe, maybe it was enough.

The corner of Riku’s mouth quivered. “Stop this, it’s embarrassing.”

“Shut up,” Sora said into Riku’s chest, but Riku could tell he was smiling again. 

Sora raised his head. His face was still red and tear—stained, but the light returned to his eyes. He sniffed, and Riku smirked.

“Don’t laugh!” Sora tried to look offended, but he was always easy to read, especially for Riku, and after a second he broke into laughter again, and Riku followed.

They laid there, on the ground, catching breath, and neither Sora nor Riku moved their hands. 

“I said the same to you, you know.”

“Huh?” Sora blinked sheepishly. 

“When you were asleep.” Riku looked at the sky again. “I talked to you.” He didn’t dare to look at Sora’s face. “It… kind of became a habit, really.”

He felt Sora shift on his chest. “What were you talking to me about?”

“Everything, really. Just.. about what was happening. That we were all waiting for you.” He swallowed. “That… that I was waiting.”

He could feel his cheeks burning. He shouldn’t have said that, Sora shouldn’t know about it, not now, not ever—

And then, the sky fell down on the earth, and Sora kissed him.

It was so short and delicate, Riku was half—convinced he had imagined it. That is, until Sora pulled away and stuck out his tongue at him.

“You taste like sand.”

Riku hit him, and Sora ducked away, grinning.

And, against everything, Riku felt the part of light again.


End file.
